The Human Experience in Gotham

New York City saw the boys continuing to be more flexible and able to cover longer distances. The first night tested our adaptability, as we fought our fatigue and some rain and cold to power through to see the Braves-Mets game at Citi Field (on the other side of town from our Jersey City Airbnb), which ended up being an adventurous way to find the beauty of shared blankets and chilly-nosed nuzzles–because, who brings sweatshirts to a baseball game in June?

Visiting Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty was a moving experience as we all learned more about the history of immigration to the United States through the voices and time capsules on display. Humanizing the experience past books and videos were the handwritten letters and powerful sound clips layering each room of the museum. Meagan was silent most of the time, with tears brimming, as she felt the pain, hope, little joys, and aching hearts of this mass immigration. To say the least, we all felt it in our chest. In our guts. It was so present and drenched us all in a history that often feels so far away. It reminded us that we are all resilient, unique, and human.

Pausing to Play

We also braved the Brooklyn Bridge by foot, a much-needed way to come full circle after our heavy Ellis Island experience. We danced much of the way to energetic beats layered over “Cold water! Cold water! Cold water! Only one dollar!”, grabbed some sundaes the size of our faces, and walked along the East River just absorbing on our way to nowhere the daily life of a New Yorker and imagining what it would be like to dodge the swaths of people with headphones in on a daily basis. The sun was gentle and the water cleansing. But the highlight of that second day was the pickup baseball game we played as a family at dusk in Liberty State Park, which was a great chance for us all to take a break from the hustle and just play together. It was like a movie. The sun pouring over the city and reflecting the light off of the millions of windows into different worlds. It was authentic and organic. Full of laughs and grass stains. The world was whole in that space of just being.

We spent our third day in New York exploring Governor’s Island–a giant playground with basket swings, a splintered ninja course, hammocks, ball fields, and outrageously-sized hot metal slides. Yet again, I couldn’t help but feel the urge to just pause and play. To be present and allow for an experience that wasn’t constantly working towards being our best IC selves felt like we were screwing up; but our hearts were screaming for it–and that’s when it hit that balance is a part of it all in so many different ways. We needed to stop thinking and start doing. I had let go of the necessity of “all things going as planned”; however, it was in this branch of our adventure that the lesson of letting go of my internal experience came to the forefront. I realized that, in order to be my vision of my best self, I needed to play. We needed to play.

Energy In and Out

On our final day we got to meet up with Meagan’s great aunt, Alison, strolling through Central Park and intentionally stopping and smelling the flowers, touching the trees, and shuffling the leaves. Bottling that peace up, we gathered our nerves and promised to be mindful as we braved Times Square, cheered on the performers, and were finally ushered out for a peaceful protest to begin. Fully charged from the energetic exchange of Times Square, we sucked in some bravery along with some deep breaths and worked our way up to the top of the Empire State Building, where Robbie was left with the lasting impression that there was a constant hum that encompassed this magnificent place–that it was never truly quiet and in an odd sort of way it was like a blanket of authenticity that was the heart of this city.

In the spirit of play, we spent an afternoon at Hershey Park igniting the kid in all of us. Although morally against the capitalist world, it was hard not to feel like we had actually walked into Willy Wonka’s. We rode kiddy rides, felt the sheer terror of the Lightening Racer, and got a back reset on the bumper cars. Was it hot? Have mercy. Was it crowded? Do you really have to ask? Would I give it back for anything? Never. We giggled as we ran to get back into line and didn’t think twice about demolishing chocolate covered treats until our eyes glazed. “Once and a while,” I kept thinking, “it’s ok to just exist…to be ridiculous and play like no one is watching.” And we did. Until we had blisters on our feet and legs that just didn’t want to work anymore and it was like the Universe (or Mr. Miyagi) was screaming, “See?! Balance. It makes you better.”

Returning to Roots and Finding Balance

The final stop on this tour de U.S. landed us in Frederick, MD to see Meagan’s mentor and most cherished friend, Alice. She treated us left and right (including some amazing ice cream at South Mountain Creamery) and we couldn’t have asked for a better sendoff. We watched the kids trekking through the trees and engaged all of the 6-legged critters attempting to join our conversations. It had been many years since Meagan had seen Alice and it felt like the entire trip had scaffolded our way to this point–like everything had come full circle and it was time to embrace the closure and peace that came from this final goodbye. The little girl that Alice had once saved was no longer a little girl on the outside, but a grown woman with four boys in tow. A grown woman who would have never been able to see the forest for the trees without this unconditional love and desire to see her become something so much more than she ever thought possible. This release and shedding of some final shell reiterated the undercurrent of balancing work and play; it reminded us that, though there is always room to be better, play is not far removed from this and is, rather, deeply woven into the fabric of what it means to be your highest and best self. It allows the mind space to be curious and entertain outrageous ideas; it is laughter and the encapsulation of the best moments of our lives; it is our inner children finally having space to exist without judgment or reason. It is love in its purest form.

Are you looking for a change and a place to find balance in your life? Are you craving a more purposeful education and a more intentional life? Consider Adult Study Abroad with Molise Italian Studies. Or, if you are a college or gap year student, transform yourself and your world through a unique and comprehensive service learning experience centered around Intercultural Citizenship education and linguistic and cultural immersion. Enroll in Adult Study Abroad or Full Semester/Summer Internship + now to join Molise Italian Studies!

The Beach and the ‘Burg

The first piece of this adventure found us in Virginia Beach, where we climbed Mt. Trashmore before the boys got faces full of crashing waves and I gave Meagan an anxiety attack swimming out to sea. From the beach we made our way up to Williamsburg, where we tested our gentle parenting skills over a lost shoe and mediated as our kids racked up an understanding of America’s painful and racist colonial past. I also jumped into a pool before checking my pocket for my phone, which was unable to be resuscitated by a bag of rice. But mostly we had fun—we kayaked, caught frogs in the forest, communed with sheep, and most importantly, were ultra-present.

It was an odd experience, seeing the places I had called home for most of my life…still existing…still more or less the same…but I wasn’t there anymore. My life had taken me in so many different directions; yet, here we were. My people, in my ‘home’, and it felt beautiful. Like everything had come full circle.

Of Pies and Plans

Next, we were on our way to the much-anticipated Washington D.C. If there was a more perfect place for me, I don’t think I’ve found it yet. In all our excitement we rattled towards the nation’s capital to find ourselves learning what adaptation really meant. I’m a planner. I like to plan. Things are better when they fall into the plan and don’t get minds of their own–D.C. laughed at this idea and pushed me right into my learning zone; but man was it fun.

Not only did we find out our accommodations were canceled hours before we arrived; but, on our frantic and hurried way to our last-minute hotel, I had my heart set on Mom’s Apple Pie in Occoquan and we weren’t going to make it. “But it’s on the itinerary! That’s why we came this way!” I huffed as the GPS said we wouldn’t make it there before closing, and I could feel the trip beginning to wear on me. I wasn’t just bummed, but I was also tired of adapting. I was exhausted from having to “go with the flow” and was ready to just eat my bodyweight in pie and call it a day; but we all know that’s not how the universe works. Has one really made progress and grown without the realest of tests?

As we saw the traffic jam, Meagan could feel my disappointment. She is a “glass is half full and there’s room for even more” kind of person, so she called the store and gave them our sob story, even asking if they would be willing to take payment over the phone and put the pie on the front porch. The young shopkeepers were so full of kindness and a gentle tone—they made us promise not to speed and that they would stay as long as it took us to get there (which was only 6 minutes by the time we rolled up…but still 6 minutes past when they normally lock the doors). It was beautiful. We all grabbed a treat and the world was well again. After all was said and done, it was like a smack in the face reminding us that just because things don’t go as planned, stretching out of one’s comfort zone and utilizing some borrowed strength when needed can go a long way.

Walking Washington

Once we made it to D.C. with bellies full of pie crumbles and whoopie pies (and after a few GPS run-arounds), we were in heaven. I’ve always known my heart had a soft spot for the city; but Meagan and the boys had never felt it. Our new hotel was not bad and conveniently located in Rosslyn, right across the river from Georgetown. After a solid night’s sleep, we were off to explore the city on foot, plan in hand. I knew all of the places I wanted Meagan and the boys to see–every park, cathedral, museum, and restaurant. There wouldn’t have to be more adapting this time. No way. (Or so I thought!)

Of course, we visited all the sites every American has seen countless times in shows and movies; but the real treasures—go figure—were the moments in which we were crumbling onto a bench at sunset because we couldn’t handle walking another step; or a brief conversation with Virginia Ali on our way to a bathroom break at Ben’s Chili Bowl; or free steamed crab at the Wharf and Indian-inspired pizza at Curry & Pie when we couldn’t make up our minds. And during all of our walking Meagan and I got to pair off at different times with different boys, developing our relationships (and our stamina). Some moments were difficult. Some were frustrating and anxiety-inducing; yet they were the fullest moments and the memories that have lasted.

Magic Moments in Philly

Our next stop was Philadelphia, where we ran the “Rocky steps” and made the trek to Jim’s for cheesesteaks. But the moment that sticks out most to me was the Magic Gardens. We’ve been to more art museums than I can count, always filled with “Don’t touch that!” and “You can’t sit there!”, but the Magic Gardens were a whole other ballgame. What. A. Trip! You could hear the stories as you made your way through the eclectic mixed-media art and revitalization project. The mosaics told so many stories of loss, rebirth, power and lack thereof, struggle, passion, and most importantly, change. There were these little pieces of mirror pressed into the mosaics and the whole place glittered. Every which way you looked there were tiny slivers of yourself looking back at you. Asking you to see everything from a new perspective. To find the beauty and the things that need not be perfect to be enough; to be worthy of existing. We didn’t want to leave, but our beds, and a trip to Reading Terminal Market the next morning, were beckoning.

We had been working on adaptation as a family, but what we experienced at Reading Terminal Market was a great example of harmony and space for everyone on a large scale. It was like a reflection of what we are aiming for in this world–as people, parents, and educators. In this one historical building, the oldest market in Philly houses the most diverse collection of foods and people I’ve ever experienced. From traditional Amish confections to Umi Seafood and Sushi, the place was bustling with all different people from all different walks. Was this visit planned? Yes. Did we plan to go with the flow as we arrived? Yes. Did we know exactly what it would look like? No. It was artistic and chaotic. It was overwhelming and perfectly in sync. It was an activation and complete takeover of all of the senses. It was magnificent.

Adapting to Adaptation

Once we finally got food for everyone, we had so many different corners of the human experience represented as we sat outside in the drizzle and shared bite for bite. It was proof. Proof that there is space for everyone and space for us to all adapt ourselves enough to see the beauty that all humanity has to offer–stories, food, tradition, beliefs, ways of life.

Adapting is hard. Whether it’s planned moments gone awry, bridging across differences in places that don’t seem so foreign, or simply shifting perspective to understand the mindset of the person next to you on the train. It’s never not hard. But it’s always worth it.

Are you looking for a change and an opportunity for adaptation? Are you craving a more purposeful education and a more intentional life? Consider Adult Study Abroad with Molise Italian Studies. Or, if you are a college or gap year student, transform yourself and your world through a unique and comprehensive service learning experience centered around Intercultural Citizenship education and linguistic and cultural immersion. Enroll in Adult Study Abroad or Full Semester/Summer Internship + now to join Molise Italian Studies! And continue following our family’s journey in our next post!

All of this preparation and here we were, actually doing it — in real life! Just a Tanny full of our people and the wide-open road ahead of us. As we made our way from Colorado to Missouri, we found the beauty of the peaceful countryside and the frustration of its speed traps. But when all was said and done, we made it safe and sound to our first stop: St. Louis! Meagan and I have had some special experiences in this place, and we were crazy-excited to share it all with the boys. As we rattled into town, we made it just in time to dive face-first into some fresh Ted Drewes. I don’t know what it is about sitting out in the evening humidity, eating your bodyweight in frozen custard with hordes of other people, but it’s a sacred space that can only be found in that magical parking lot. Itinerary check number one, done.

With custard-covered faces and some heavy eyelids, we pulled ourselves back onto the road for the short trip to where we were staying. Now, this Airbnb was no normal crash pad; it was decked out from top to bottom with everything one could’ve asked for. All the way down to the cute poodle that visited out back and a Pride flag on the front porch. This was the best way to kick off our trip and will forever hold a special place in our hearts. Jodie was the coolest hippie-chick hostess with a soul for service and genuine connection.

Jodie really set the stage for the people of St. Louis. Who were these gentle and kind people connecting with us as we explored the city? It was remarkable. Starting with the downtown crossing guard helping us on our way and wishing us a great day, it was extraordinary to witness the real spirit of St. Louis. Learning of the racially charged, painful past, and seeing the way that individuals are constantly working towards bridging across cultures, even within a shared culture, was moving and motivating, and shed a lot of light on the Black experience in America. And, of course, impromptu moments stand out, like playing catch with Emery at a playground in the Italian Hill neighborhood, or racing down a dark hill in Forest Park during Shakespeare in the Park. From getting drenched in sweat climbing all over City Museum, to feeding goats and visiting Clydesdales at Grant’s Farm, to running and picking berries at Old Chain of Rocks Bridge, so many checks, and then on to the next!

Walkin’ Back to Georgia

From St. Louis to Atlanta, we were still making it — exhausted but in one piece nonetheless. We made our way through some torrential downpours and learned a thing or two about sandwich making on the road; but we finally made it to Georgia! Now, this was a big one for me. Not just because I’m a diehard Braves fan, but also because I was seeing my dad for the first time in over 20 years. This was a big one because no one else in our travel brigade had ever met him at all. This person, who I knew little about, and his wife, were on their way to meet us at a baseball game and it had me feeling like a kid myself — excited, nervous, unsure, awkward, but most importantly, ready. My dad and his wife met us at the Braves’ stadium and we had the best day together! We heard funny stories, surprising stories, and even some heartbreaking stories. We talked baseball, food, life, and got to know them as people. It felt unreal. At 40 years old I was finally able to feel a tangible bridge that had been a void for so many years. Was it this easy? To let go of it all and just be present? I never would have imagined the shift I (and we) experienced as a result of this connection. To add to it all, we met up at a nearby park after the game for three generations to play catch in the rain. It was silly and cleansing — it was a day that none of us will ever forget.

While in Atlanta, we were also able to visit the grave of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., giving us a tangible springboard for further discussing civil rights with the kids. The memorial had an overwhelming sense of struggle and hope all at the same time. We felt so small and full of fire. Walking where Dr. King walked and seeing the impact of the structural racism in his community — the level of poverty and hurt just around the corner from his childhood home — I could feel it deep within my spirit. We all could. This feeling pushed from within, reminding us of our mission for Molise IS and the importance of intercultural citizenship. Reminding us of the urgency for a program that educates all people in a way to create change. Reminding us that the time for change is now.

After our time in Atlanta, we had the magical experience of Mark’s Melon Patch in Albany. As the sky opened up and drenched the land, we took shelter under the little market on the side of the road and marveled at the heaping baskets of fruits and vegetables and sweet treats. We soaked up the slower way of life and enjoyed some fresh corn, straight from the field, bought our body weight in berries, and watched the kittens tumbling around the dirt floor. It was gentle and renewing.

Florida Vibes

The delicious breakfast biscuits at Pearly’s, along with the genuine and palpable southern charm of the people we met there, helped us on our way to a lovely morning before venturing to our next stop on the Gulf Coast of Florida, where we picked up a sunburn at the beach and enjoyed kayaking among mangroves. Cruising into Orlando and wrapping up this leg of our journey, we had an obligatory day at Universal Studios–drinking butterbeer as we felt our faces melting in the heat, living Meagan’s childhood fantasy in Harry Potter World, and making the best of the never-ending lines.

But the highlight of Florida was getting to spend a night with our bff (best friendship family) Eddie and Mandy, and their kids Shelby and Harrison, in Melbourne. Eddie greeted us, fresh off the road, with a bucket full of shrimp and an armful of fishing poles for the boys to try their hand at catfishing. Lounging on their dock, we saw a tattered manatee up-close and some playful dolphins far-off. The 5 boys lived their best lives while Shelby, Mandy, and Meagan topped each other’s ghost stories in their antique-store of a living room. Eddie and I ran down memory lane and laughed until our faces hurt.

Here and Now

Vietnamese Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh reminds students, when they hear the “bell of mindfulness” — whatever form that may take, whether a buzz on the phone or a barking dog or any other unplanned sound—to “simply stop whatever they are doing to intentionally take deep breaths and pay absolute attention to what is going on around them and inside them.”¹ It was like the Universe knew we needed to hear the ringing bell. It stormed like crazy and gave us a chance to slow down, even for just a day. We sat inside Eddie and Mandy’s covered back porch, lounging, listening, connecting, and just being.

The level of bummed we felt as we were leaving was real; it was unanimous–we would have happily traded our day at Universal for a few more with our friends. This tiny sliver of our trip with our people felt like a perfect recharge point, readying us for the second half of our U.S. adventure. Giving us all space to reflect and process the cultures we had become entangled with, no matter how brief. This time reminded us of the importance of connection; to people, to places, to causes–and how our mission as a family and a program are deeply intertwined with the here and now.

1. Barbara Schaetti, Sheila Ramsey, and Gordon Watanabe, Personal Leadership (2008), 21-22.

Are you needing to slow down and connect? Are you craving a more purposeful education and a more intentional life? Transform yourself and your world through a unique and comprehensive service learning experience centered around intercultural citizenship education and linguistic and cultural immersion. Enroll in Adult Study Abroad or Full Semester/Summer Internship + now to join Molise Italian Studies! And continue following our family’s journey in our next post!

The only thing constant in this world is change, and change has become the motto of the journey that our family of six has embarked on over the last two months as we endeavor to transform the dream of Molise Italian Studies into reality. Almost two years of planning and hard work, communication and research, setbacks and snafus, but where did the real change begin? That’s a hard thing to put a finger on, but for our story let’s start with us quitting our jobs, selling 90% of our belongings in Tucson (including our house!), and hauling what little remained into family members’ basements in Colorado. This was the launchpad for our four-week road trip across the United States with nothing more than Tanny (our 2007 Honda Odyssey), some backpacks stuffed to the brim, and peanut butter and jelly supplies. Not only did we uproot ourselves from everything familiar to explore the continental U.S., we then caught a trans-Atlantic flight to Italy to begin living the heart of our dream; but I’ll get to that in time.

As we have reflected, it has become increasingly apparent that the changes we have encountered and absorbed have much less to do with our physical location than with our choice of lifestyle, how we experience the world, and who we are—and who we continue to become—as people. And these tremendous changes have delivered their powerful impact through our interactions with each other, our fellow humans, and even nature. We experienced different regions and outlooks in the United States: from the Southwest to the Midwest, from the South to the Mid-Atlantic, and from cities to suburbs and farms (talk about some serious polarity). And in Italy we have experienced the busy and energetic capital of Rome, the small mountain towns of Molise, and the suburbs in between. But everywhere we have gone, it has been the people that have been the root of change. It has been our shared human experience that has molded this intricate experience into a tangible sort of magic.

Fantastic Family

Absolutely none of this would have ever been possible without the outpouring of flexibility, generosity, patience, and love from our family. As we planned our pilgrimage from Tucson to Italy, we realized that getting what little remained of our suburban life to Colorado was more of a task than we had realized. Thankfully, Meagan’s sister Jonna-Lynne (and Jonna’s bestie Sam) offered to drive Fabby (our little white Prius) to Colorado so we could caravan Tanny and the moving van. Once in Colorado, rather than having to deal with a wasteful self-storage unit, Grandma Nisee (Denise) offered a room into which we could unload our lives as we knew them. Seeing our belongings fitting snuggly into one room was terrifying and satisfying all at the same time—who would have thought that we could do with (or, for that matter, without) so little?

We had dealt with our vehicles and belongings, but what about where to live once we returned from Italy? We knew we could not afford to rent in Denver, and we definitely could not buy anything in the States, so we began entertaining ideas ranging from a small RV to a “tiny house.” But no option felt right, whether it was not eco-friendly enough, the cost was out of reach, or we just couldn’t see it working in the long run. But just as we were running out of ideas and options, Meagan’s grandparents, John and Linda (who are more like parents, as they’ve raised Meagan and Jonna since they were young), suddenly offered to remodel their basement for us. WHAT?! They do not come from money by any means, so this gesture was an overwhelming display of their selflessness and generosity. So everything was set, and we were ready to roll out (metaphorically and literally) on an adventure full of change.

Life and Laughter

Once on the road, living out of a van, hotels, Airbnb’s, and airplanes forced us to adapt to each other and develop extreme patience and empathy, even if we sometimes failed to implement them perfectly. We learned (and continue to learn) about ourselves and each other—our triggers, our comforts, and how to compromise (on anything from food to sleeping arrangements to activity choices). We had fun doing the big, expensive activities, but probably found more joy in small, unplanned moments like devouring a freshly shucked ear of uncooked sweet corn at Mark’s Melon Patch in Albany, Georgia; or like playing baseball in a field at Liberty State Park, with the sunset over Manhattan and the Hudson as our backdrop. We learned, like Jimmy Buffet, that for all of our running and all of our cunning, it is the laughter that will keep us all from going insane.

Are you looking to make your own changes? Transform yourself and your world through a unique and comprehensive service learning experience centered around intercultural citizenship education and linguistic and cultural immersion. Enroll in Adult Study Abroad or Full Semester/Summer Internship + now to join Molise Italian Studies! And continue following our family’s journey in our next post!